Hey guys it's been a while since I posted (an entire summer!) but here is an updated animatic. It is 5 1/2 minutes but I'm still figuring out which scenes to cut and add in.
So here are the updates. If you notice, in the beginning I cut some scenes up when he's trying to look for food in the spaceship. There are fewer boxes he's looking through and I added the squeeze bottle gag in. I'm trying to come up with something funnier though. Or is it funny enough??
When the astronaut exits the spaceship, some additional scenes include a wrist monitor indicates that the air is breathable and him kicking a rock. The most major change was the astronaut's first encounter with the alien. I thought these changes would further establish a better relationship between the two. A little more dramatic and fast paced compared to the previous version.
I also changed up the ending somewhat and made the little alien appear more aggressive than he initially was. He now has a large row of chompers, indicating that he is indeed a carnivore. Matt suggested the alien make a noise telling the astronaut that he's hungry and then take a huge bite out of the chicken piece. The astronaut quickly realizes that the alien is more threatening than he seems to be and this is further established by other aliens coming to check out the food.
I forgot to add a scene in where all the aliens display their sharp teeth, tongues hanging out, gazing at the astronaut. I will add a scene in where the little alien tries taking bites out of the meat, but bites the astronaut's hand instead for more humor.
Looks really great Sean! Already feels like a film, which is very cool.
ReplyDeleteI like all of the funny parts. You may be already doing this, but it sounds like the many creatures that come up to the campfire have sort of an echo. Maybe it could sound like an echo, as we hear each row of them make a sound going back further and further into the distance as if there's hundreds and hundreds of them lol. Just a heap load of these little creatures.
Keep it up!
Sean- this looks great! I agree with Jesse- it flows really well even as an animatic! Here are my notes:
ReplyDelete-After the establishing shot of the spaceship, you have a series of close-ups. It is a little disorienting which could be a good thing if that was your intention. If not, you could first cut to an establishing shot of the interior of the spacecraft before the close-ups.
-When you zoom out of the astronaut's growling stomach, keep pulling out until you see his head.
-The following shot is a jump cut.
-The long shot of him walking on the planet is not a very interesting perspective- you could change the angle.
-The back and forth of the alien running around runs a bit long. You could cut it down.
-I LOVE the moving camera POV when he sees the alien!
Great work Sean! I think you can put your time in the modeling and animation now :)
-Sheila
The story has come a long way! Subtle changes make all the difference.
ReplyDeleteWhen I watched it this time, I really identified with the spaceman and I felt the same emotions of fear and surprise when the alien first appeared.
Two moments I really enjoyed: when the alien is about to be shot and he lays down like a puppy; and when the other alien heads pop out and we realize they're surrounded by hundreds.
I do think the pacing needs tightening in several places. But be careful, because you don't want to lose the gradual buildups that make the discoveries more fun.
This is looking really good!
ReplyDeleteI really feel what the astronaut is feeling in this one. Also, nice job with the sound effects. They add a lot.
I think the pacing's really good when he's in his spaceship. I also like that his food is labeled 'Crackers for Astronauts'.
One thing you might want to look at is the part where he's first aiming his gun at the alien. It looks like you might cross the 180 degree line a couple times, which makes it hard for me to tell where the alien is in relation to him. It's probably an easy fix. You might just need to flip some shots.